On YouTube, "David Hasselhoff Intoxicated" has been played three million times. It shows Hasselhoff, the 56-year-old pop star and "Baywatch" idol, as he reclines shirtless on a hotel-room floor, fumbling with a badly composed hamburger. "This is a mess," he grunts. "I'm lonely." Much of the commentary from YouTube viewers concerns that elusive, mayonnaise-slicked burger. Smashed and disfigured, is it revolting? Or does Hasselhoff's runaway desire for it make it tempting?